Word Crimes

Well, this is embarrassing.

Yeah, it's Wednesday.

Yeah, I forgot.

No, I don't have my post about tense ready. :'(

But, it's Word-Craft Wednesday, right? So let's learn a little bit about grammar from the great Weird Al Yankovic!

Seriously, I love this video. You have to watch it!

Some of my favorite features include:

• Letters that are not in the word 'espresso' 
• Things for which quotation marks ought not be used
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reference (it's in there!)
• The difference between 'good' and 'well'

 

For as awesome as it is, however, there is one grammar error that Weird Al himself makes in this music video. First person to find it wins a prize!

That's a lie. I don't have a prize for you. But if you want to pretend I do, do whatever makes you happy.

Okay, so next week I'll do a discussion on tense in narrative writing. Yeesh.

What's your favorite part of this music video? Did you spot the error? Sound off in the comments!

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Parts of Speech: Adjectives and Adverbs

This is the second post in a series on parts of speech. Most of you already know this kind of stuff, but a little refresher now and then can be useful. Last week, we looked at nouns and verbs. Today, we are going to cover adjectives and adverbs. 

Adjectives and adverbs both fall into a classification known as “Words that start with ‘ad.’”  

No?

Oh, right.  Adjectives and adverbs both fall into the classification of “modifiers.” In a future post, I will touch on the subject of how to use modifiers well.  I will also go over all of the grammatical rules associated with using them.  Today, however, we are just going to look at how they function as parts of speech.

Adjectives (describe nouns)

Adjectives modify nouns or other adjectives.  Actually, ‘adjective’ and ‘object’ share a common root; both words are ultimately derived from the Latin word jacere, which means “to throw.”  Adjacere meant specifically “to throw at,” and from this verb, the word adjectivus was derived.  Adjectivus literally means ‘adjective.’ 

The origin of the word ‘object’ is a little more backwards and actually has to do with ancient Roman politics, so I’m not going to get into all of that.  Suffice it to say that ‘object’ was derived from ‘to throw’ because an object is something which you can throw.  

Knowing that ‘adjective’ and ‘object’ have a common root can help you to remember that adjectives modify nouns.  Since nouns are, in a way, objects, you can see the connection. Ad- means ‘to’ or ‘at,’ so think of ‘adjective’ as “to the object.”

Adjectives are descriptors.  They describe things.  They modify nouns by tying a separate concept to the noun.  Last week, I likened nouns to bones.  Adjectives are sort of like ligaments.  The function of ligaments is to tie two bones together; the function of an adjective is to tie a concept to a noun (or other adjective). 

There are so many different words that are adjectives, and actually, many of them are derived from nouns.   You get beautiful from ‘beauty,’ angry from ‘anger,’ dusty from dust, and so on.  Certain adjectives are derived from proper nouns, such as Elizabethan from ‘Elizabeth,’ Shakespearean from ‘Shakespeare,’ and Marxist from ‘Marxism.’  If the noun is proper, then you should capitalize the adjective.  

Some nouns can act as adjectives, too.  Soda is a noun, but if you say “soda can,” then soda becomes an adjective.  In this case, the adjective quite literally ties two nouns together, the same way that ligaments tie bones together. Colors can act as adjectives.  Numbers can act as adjectives.  If you are using it to describe something else, to modify it, then it is an adjective.

Adjectives also modify other adjectives.  Say we have a pink shirt.  We can further modify ‘pink’ with another adjective, such as pale, bright, obnoxious, or sparkly.  ‘Pale’ modifies ‘pink,’ which then modifies ‘shirt.’ 

Adverbs (describe verbs)

Adverbs modify verbs.  As in ‘adjective,’ the ad- in ‘adverb’ means ‘to’ or ‘at.’  You can think of ‘adverb’ as ‘to the verb.’  They are descriptive words that tell you how something is being done.  Last week, I compared verbs to muscles.  Adverbs are like tendons.  Tendons connect the muscles to the bones; they are the way that the muscles move the bones.  Likewise, adverbs tell you in what way a verb is acting on a noun.  

Adverbs are usually derived from adjectives.  You get beautifully from ‘beautiful,’  angrily from ‘angry,’ and dustily from ‘dusty.’  Most adverbs are marked by the suffix -ly­ at the end, but it’s not a fixed rule. Lovely and surly are adjectives, not adverbs.  However, if you can use it to modify a verb, then it is an adverb.  You can hurt yourself painfully, or you can paint a house quickly.  In both of these cases, the adverb shows how you were hurt or how you painted the house. 

Adverbs can also modify adjectives.  Bob can see Jill’s beautiful face, or he can see her incredibly beautiful face.  In this case, ‘incredibly’ is not modifying ‘see,’ but it is modifying ‘beautiful.’ Adverbs can also modify other adverbs.  You could run quickly, or you could run extremely quickly. In this case, extremely modifies ‘quickly,’ not ‘run.’ (I’m not really sure what it would mean to run extremely.  What would that look like?  Some kind of extreme sports?)

Very well...

Then…there is the word ‘very.’  ‘Very’ is a bizarre modifier that can be either an adjective or an adverb—but only in certain capacities. 

As an adjective, ‘very’ means ‘exact’ or ‘actual.’  You will hear it used this way in a lot of campfire ghost stories. 

20 years ago, on this very campground, a man was killed by hyena demons on that very spot.  The very sight of it alone was enough to make grown men cry. 

As an adverb, it means ‘extremely.’ 

The hyena demons were very savage. 

However, the adverbial form of ‘very’ actually can’t be used to modify verbs; it can only modify adjectives.  Think about it.  Can you say that “I walked very”?  Immediately, you wonder, “’I walked very’ what?  Very quickly?  Very slowly?  Very painfully?”

So, how often should you use the word ‘very’? 

Not very often.

‘Very’ has suffered a huge amount of overuse, and in many cases, the meaning of the sentence does not change if you omit it.  Mark Twain actually once said, “Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” There might be some cases where you cannot omit it, but they are few and far between.  

 

Adjectives and adverbs are great, but unlike ligaments and tendons, modifiers are not absolutely necessary.  Sometimes, they can bog your writing down if not used properly.  Other times, they can make your writing twice as awesome, bringing life to the dull bones and muscles of nouns and verbs. 

Next week: Conjunctions and Prepositions
After that: Articles and Demonstratives, then Interjections, Etc.

Did you find this interesting, or were you bored to tears? Do you have any questions about adjectives and adverbs that I didn't answer? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Image credits: Image courtesy of samuiblue at FreeDigitalPhotos.net, modified by me.

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Parts of Speech: Nouns and Verbs

Image courtesy of samuiblue at FreeDigitalPhotos.net. Modified by me.

This is the first in a series on parts of speech. Most of you already know this kind of stuff, but a little refresher now and then can be useful. Today, we are going to cover the two most basic parts of speech: nouns and verbs.

Nouns are the bones on which the rest of speech is dependent; they are the basic frame. They are so important that in some languages, such as German, they are all capitalized. Verbs, on the other hand, are like muscles, those things which are responsible for moving the skeleton.

Nouns (objects)

The word 'noun' ultimately comes from nomen, the Latin word for 'name.' Accordingly, nouns are words which name something. You may have heard the phrase, “person, place, or thing.” That phrase is the simplest definition for a noun that you will ever find. However, a noun can also be an idea or concept; these are called 'abstract' nouns, as opposed to 'concrete' (solid, touchable) nouns. Love or socialism are abstract nouns, whereas acorn and elephant are concrete.

Proper nouns are nouns which name a specific person or place, such as Guatemala, Queen Elizabeth, New York City, Bob, etc. An ideology named after a specific person or place is also a proper noun: Marxism, Americanism, Darwinism, etc. Proper nouns are always capitalized, whereas common nouns such as dog, blanket, glabella, sky, room, etc., are not. Ideologies not named after a specific person or place are common nouns, such as fascism and antidisestablimentarianism.

There are also two more types of nouns: quantitative or non-quantitative. A quantitative noun is one you can count, such as dollar, book, or mouse. You can pluralize quantitative nouns. Non-quantitative nouns cannot be pluralized. Corn, rice, and milk are non-quantitative. These are measured in quantitative units, such as: kernels, grains, and gallons. You don't say, “I have two milks,” you say, “I have two gallons of milk.” Not surprisingly, most proper nouns are non-quantitative.

Side note: If you've ever had somebody tell you to use 'fewer' instead of 'less,' here's the rule on that. If it's a quantitative noun, use 'fewer.' If it's a non-quantitative noun, say use 'less.' You would say, “I have less rice,” but you would say “I have fewer grains of rice.”

Verbs (actions)

By themselves, however, nouns can't really do anything. Just like bones, they need something to move them. Verbs are the muscles which do this. Interestingly, 'verb' is derived from the Latin word verbum, which can mean either 'word' or 'verb.' Basically, we get our word for 'verb' from the Latin word for 'verb.' Simply put, verbs are 'action' words.

It's especially interesting to think of verbs as muscles when you consider that there are different types of muscle: smooth, cardiac, and skeletal. These three types can generally be lumped into two types: voluntary (skeletal) and involuntary (smooth and cardiac). While you probably know that there are two types of verbs, you might not know their official names: transitive and intransitive.

Transitive verbs are very much like skeletal muscle tissue. Think of the 'trans' in transitive like the one in 'transport' or 'translate.' These words actively affect nouns. Verbs like push, grab, excite, kick, fling, drive, etc. are transitive because they move or change the object in question somehow. Basically, these verbs are verbs that one noun does to another noun.

In some dictionaries, you'll see v.t. in front of a definition; this means that the verb is transitive, whereas v.i. means intransitive.

Intransitive verbs are similar to smooth or cardiac muscle tissue. Just as you don't consciously control cardiac or smooth muscles, intransitive verbs do not actively affect or control nouns. Basically, this means that these verbs cannot have direct objects. Instead of causing one noun to do something to another noun, intransitive verbs simply do. Words like exist, sleep, speak, squeal, arrive, etc., are intransitive verbs. Think about it. You can exist, but can you exist something else? Can you sleep something?

There is also a subcategory of intransitive verbs called auxiliary verbs or linking verbs. The two big ones here are to have and to be.

Wait a minute, you say, have is transitive. You can have something. You can have a house. You can also be something. You can be a doctor.

Can you? By having something, are you actually effecting change on it? Are you moving it? By being a doctor, are you actually doing something to a doctor? These verbs merely link objects, hence, linking verbs. They are also called auxiliary verbs because they 'help' other verbs. You frequently see things like “I had punched him” or “I was screaming.” In both cases, these have to do with the tense of the verbs. In some languages, such as Latin (I always seem to come back to that), you don't need auxiliary verbs because every single possible tense of the verb is its own word.

Ah, Latin. Where you have as many as 10 forms of every noun and up to 36 forms of every verb. Fortunately, some of the forms overlap in the same word and they follow a fixed rule. Unfortunately, sometimes they don't.

Anyway...

It is interesting to note, however, that some verbs have both a transitive and an intransitive sense. For example, consider the word eat. I can say, “She eats when she is hungry,” and that is an intransitive sense. If I say, “She eats pizza,” then it is in a transitive sense. Dictionaries will note which sense is which.

As you can see, verbs are a little more interesting than nouns.

Nouns and verbs really are the most basic, crucial parts of speech. They are the only two parts of speech you need to form grammatically correct sentences—even if they are a little short.

I ate bananas; Josh dislikes bananas.

Bobby coughed.

Cats attack mice.

However, for speech to become really interesting, we need the other parts to tie it all together and really make it beautiful.

Next week: Adjectives and Adverbs

After that: Conjunctions and Prepositions; Articles and Demonstratives; and Interjections, Etc.

Did you find this interesting, or were you bored to tears? Do you have any questions about nouns and verbs that I didn't answer? Share your thoughts in the comments. 

Image credits: Image courtesy of samuiblue at FreeDigitalPhotos.net, modified by me.

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It depends! (Clauses and Semicolons)

Courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What's up with the guy in the red suit?  Well, he heard that my blog post today was going to be about clauses and he just showed up.  Ba-dum chhh! Seriously though, doesn't he look astute and ready to learn?  He's got his pen all ready to take notes and everything.

Obviously, today's post is not about Santa Claus.  It's about clauses (the kind spelled with an 'e' on the end.)

So, what is a clause?  CCC Foundation's Guide to Grammar and Writing defines it very neatly: "A clause is a group of related words containing a subject and a verb."

They also have a picture of Jolly Saint Nick on their site, but their Santa isn't anywhere near as smart looking as mine is. I mean, look at this guy! He has glasses and a clipboard. My smart Santa is way better than their silly dancing Santa.  Besides, I'm also way funnier than them, amirite?

By the way, "amirite" is a total crime against all things grammatical.  It's really fun to write, though, amirite?

Yes.  I did have a lot of coffee this morning.  Why do you ask?

Ahem.

Clauses versus phrases

Before we get into clauses more deeply, it's important to understand the difference between clauses and phrases. A clause is different from a phrase, because phrases do not have a true subject-verb relationship in them. For example, this is a phrase:

Within the sleigh

Specifically, it is a prepositional phrase. This is also a phrase:

Flying within the sleigh

It does have a subject and a verb, ‘flying’ and ‘sleigh,’ but ‘sleigh’ is the object of the preposition, not the subject that is flying.  If we subtract the object of the preposition, we are left with

Flying within

This is a participial phrase, because the verb in it is a participle.  Even if we add the object of the preposition back in, it is still a participial phrase.  Phrases are sort of like those Russian nesting dolls.  You can have phrases within phrases, within phrases, and within phrases. Phrases are always connected to clauses, generally by commas.  By themselves they are incomplete sentences.  An incomplete sentence is called a “sentence fragment.” Don’t worry.  There won’t be a quiz. If you want to learn more about phrases, check out this page from Guide to Grammar and Writing.

Independent Clauses

Now, look at this string of words:

Father Christmas flew above the city.

This a clause, because it has a proper subject-verb relationship even if you remove the modifying phrase, “above the city”:

Father Christmas flew.

This type of clause is an independent clause, because it can stand as a complete sentence by itself.  Here are several examples of independent clauses:

Rudolph's red nose glowed brightly. 

Santa had to wear sunglasses because of this. 

Santa became rather cranky.

A dependent clause (also sometimes called as subordinate clause) is a clause that cannot stand by itself to form a sentence.

If Santa was cranky

As Rudolph grinned impishly 

These are both clauses with a proper subject-verb relationship, but neither of them can stand by themselves as a sentence.  Standing alone, they are sentence fragments. This is because they have dependent words in them, like 'if' and 'as.' There are many dependent words, but here are a few common ones:

• if
• because
• until
• whereas
• though
• while

Generally speaking, dependent clauses are joined to independent clauses by a comma:

Santa was absolutely sick of Rudolph's obnoxious antics, so he complained to Mrs. Claus about it.

While Santa was eating his peas, he grumbled about how much he hated that uppity Rudolph.  

Mrs. Claus tried to be sympathetic, though she was disappointed that Santa did not seem to be enjoying his peas. 

This is far from an exhaustive explanation of clauses, but it provides enough background for me to talk about the subject I really want to cover: semicolons.

Semicolons are delightful little punctuation marks that serve two purposes: they join independent clauses, and they act as a super comma.

Joining independent clauses

There are two ways to join independent clauses.  One is with a comma followed by a conjunction:

Santa Claus is cranky, and Mrs. Claus does not feel like dealing with it. 

The other is to join them with a semicolon:

Santa Claus is cranky; Mrs. Claus does not feel like dealing with it. 

Never join two independent clauses with nothing more than a comma:

Santa Claus is cranky, Mrs. Claus does not feel like dealing with it.

That right there, my friends, is a comma splice.  Comma splices are bad.  They make my sister-in-law cringe.  The expression "comma splice" alone makes her cringe.  They don't make me cringe, but that doesn't mean that my sister-in-law's reaction is unjustified. It might be a teensy bit over the top, however. If she and I were the Grammar Police, she'd be the terrifying cop you don't mess with. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. Love ya, sis!)

You know, I'm probably going to pay for that remark with a long list of my grammatical errors in the comments.

Anyway, you've probably heard about "run-on" sentences in your English classes. You might think that a run-on sentence is simply a really long sentence, but that's not the case.  A run-on sentence is a sentence which contains a comma splice.  It could be really short, like "I win, you lose." The proper way to write that would be either "I win; you lose" or "I win, and you lose."

So, the moral the story is: don't combine independent clauses with nothing more than a comma.  Give the poor comma a break. Either replace it with a semicolon or give the comma a nice, friendly, helpful conjunction.

Speaking of giving commas a break...

Semicolons as super commas

You probably remember that when you have a list of things, you are supposed to separate the items in the list using a comma:

A, B, and C

Lists like this are frequently incorporated into sentences:

Mrs. Claus's dinner consisted of peas, carrots, and mashed potatoes. 

If your list contains items which are complex phrases, you should separate each item with a semicolon:

Mrs. Claus's Dinner consisted of freshly steamed peas, tossed in herbed butter; tender carrots, roasted with honey and cinnamon; and creamy mashed potatoes drenched in rich brown gravy.

I kind of just made myself drool while writing that.  I probably shouldn't write blog posts this close to lunchtime. 

When not to use the semicolon

There's the old saying: "Discretion is the better part of valor." (For some reason, this saying is really popular in a lot style guides, so I felt kind of obligated to use it as well.)  Though semicolons are hardly valorous, it is still better to use them with discretion.

Say you have two independent clauses:

Santa ate some dessert. 

He cocked his hunting rifle.

You could join these two clauses with a semicolon, and it would still be grammatically correct.  In terms of style, however, it would be a poor choice.  Semicolons indicate that the two clauses are somehow related.  Eating dessert is completely unrelated to cocking a rifle. If you were completely desperate to make these two clauses into one sentence, turn one of them into a dependent clause:

Before he cocked his hunting rifle, Santa ate some dessert.

It's still pretty ridiculous, but the clauses are now related in terms of the order in which they occurred.

However, consider these two clauses:

Rudolph wandered into the crosshairs of Santa's rocket launcher. 

Santa drew a deep breath and squeezed the trigger.

These clauses are certainly related to each other.  They are action-packed, so leaving them as separate sentences creates too much of a pause between them. We could join them with a comma and a conjunction, but that would slow the pace down.  It looks like it's the semicolon to the rescue!

Rudolph wandered into the crosshairs of Santa's rocket launcher; Santa drew a deep breath and squeezed the trigger.

When it comes to the semicolon as a super comma, don't use it just because the items in your list consist of more than one word.  For example, you should still use commas for short entries like these:

Rudolph jumped in terror, leapt into the air, and flew away from Santa's mad blood lust. 

It's when you have complex phrases that you want to use the semicolon as a super comma.

Santa ran back inside, looking for his reindeer tracker, which he had recently invented; his bigger, deadlier rocket launcher; and his new, reindeer-free hover sleigh.

Hopefully, this has helped you understand the use of semicolons a little better.  When you choose to use them really depends on the affect you are trying to achieve, as well as the complexities of the sentence you are writing.  It's easy to over-use semicolons, so if it seems like you're using them every other sentence, consider joining the clauses differently or breaking up the sentences for a little variety. 

Do you have any more questions about clauses or semicolons? Ask them or share any thoughts you might have in the comments. 

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Apostrophe Apostasy

Have you ever seen the movie Hook? It’s a bit of an older film, released in 1991.  Directed by Steven Spielberg, it stars Robin Williams as an adult Peter Pan and Julia Roberts as Tinker Bell.  It’s a great, funny movie, and if you have not seen it, you really ought to.  One of my favorite scenes involves Captain Hook and Mr. Smee.  Smee has just had a brilliant idea, and so he runs into Hook’s cabin and declares, “Captain! I just had an apostrophe!”

Hook rolls his eyes. “You mean an epiphany,” he says, in a impatient voice.

What makes this so funny is that Smee mistakes a word which refers to a type of punctuation for a word that has a similar meaning to “revelation.”  The words aren’t even related in the tiniest sense.  Bob Hoskins, as Smee, really nails the delivery, and when Dustin Hoffman, as Hook, replies, his tone of voice is just so perfect.  It’s a great scene, all in all.

However, while Smee’s misuse of the word “apostrophe” is funny, the actual punctuation mark is being misused a lot as well.  In fact, it’s so common to see it being misused that I knew a newspaper editor who claimed, “I want to rip the apostrophe key off of every keyboard in the world.”

People everywhere have been abusing the poor punctuation mark too much.  It has reached the point of apostrophe apostasy.

You see, the apostrophe has but two major functions in the English language. One, it indicates possession, as in “Bob’s car.”  Two, it indicates a missing letter or sound, as in “didn’t.”  Here are some examples.

Possession:

If the noun is singular, put the apostrophe before the “s.”

Aunt Millie’s hat is floppy.

George’s coat is made of rabbit fur.

The dog’s rawhide bone is all soggy.

If it’s a proper name that ends with “s,” you may do either of the following, as long as you are consistent.

Charles’s telephone rang.

Charles’ telephone rang.

If the noun is plural (more than one), put the apostrophe after the “s.”

The twins’ bedroom was a mess.

Peanuts are elephants’ favorite food.

If the plural noun does not end in an “s,” indicate possession using the same method as for singular nouns.

The children’s toys were everywhere.

The People’s Republic of  China is the most populous country in the world.

Missing letters:

When letters are omitted, replace them with an apostrophe. This is called a contraction—a shortened form of a word or group of words.

I'm (I am) sorry, Dave; I can’t (cannot) do that.

You don’t (do not) like fishing for squid?

I’ve (I have) a powerful desire to eat popcorn.

It may also be done in lyrics or poetry for the purpose of eliminating an extra syllable. (These are also technically considered contractions.)

Free the pris’ners (prisoners).

Open wide the gates of heav’n (heaven).

Some other contractions are not usually spoken, but are used as shorthand in writing. (Generally, these are used only in correspondence.)

Send that to the engineering dep’t (department).

The FBI is just another gov’t (government) agency.

Apostrophes are also used to indicate missing letters in pronunciation, such as the British Cockney dropping of the “h.”

That ‘ouse (house) is big!  

I’m freakin’ (freaking) out! 

Apostrophe abuse:

Now that you know how apostrophes are supposed to be used, imagine that you walk into a restaurant and are greeted by a menu board that says

“SPECIAL OF THE DAY: Club Sandwich with Carrot Stick’s”

or maybe

“Chicken Fried Steak, Mashed Potatoes, and Pea’s”

Clearly, the apostrophe apostates have been hard at work here.  If you’re anything like me, your first impulse is to run up to that sign and erase that stupid apostrophe, because apostrophes do not indicate that something is plural.  Since that would be rude, though, you draw a deep breath, ignore it, and then promptly go home and write a blog post on the proper use of apostrophes.

I guess I’ve started channeling the spirit of that newspaper editor I mentioned earlier.

To be fair, the apostrophe does make it a little difficult for us to use it correctly…

Apostrophe Exceptions:

Yeah…remember how I said that the apostrophe indicates possession? It does, except for when it is paired with the word “it.”

That’s the English language for you—full of weird exceptions.

So, anyway, here’s how to tell when to use an apostrophe with the word “it.”

It’s—contraction for it is or it has

It’s (it is) a girl!

It’s (it has) been so long!

Its—possessive form of the word it

That dog loves its chew toy.

The chew toy is near the end of its life.

If you aren’t sure whether or not to use the apostrophe with “it,” try replacing “it’s” with “it is” or “it has.” If it makes sense, use the apostrophe.  If it doesn’t make sense, don’t use the apostrophe.

Also, remember how I said that apostrophes should not be used to indicate plurals?                                                                                                                                                                                 

Yeah, there’s an exception to that, too.  If the word is only one letter, you may use the apostrophe to pluralize:

There are two e’s in "exception."

Mary Beth got straight A’s in math.

You may also single or double quotes around the single letter.

‘e’s

“e”s

‘A’s

“A”s

My personal preference is to use single quotes.  However, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are consistent.

You can also use the apostrophe in the following ways:

80’s toys were the best.

I was born in the ‘80s.

Are you confused yet?  I hope not, but if you are, you might find this comic from The Oatmeal to be helpful: “How to Use an Apostrophe.”

(A word of caution: this specific grammar comic does not contain any adult language, but the rest of The Oatmeal has some pretty intense swearing and some lewd content.  If you’re under 18, I don’t recommend poking around the rest of the site without a parent’s permission.)

If you ever find yourself totally unsure about whether to use an apostrophe, here’s a rule: when in doubt, leave it out.

Why?  Because if the word is supposed to have an apostrophe and doesn’t, people will look at it and think, “Oops, they forgot the apostrophe.  Oh well, typos happen.”  Whereas if you use it in a word that is not supposed to, they will probably think, “Oh, no!  Those fools have no idea what they’re doing! Apostrophe abuse!” Well, maybe not those words exactly.  But you get the idea.

So, don’t be an apostate.  Use the noble apostrophe well, and the world will reward you.

Or something like that.

So, what do you think about this topic?  Do you have any questions about apostrophes that I didn’t answer?  If you say the word “apostrophe” too many times in a row, does it start to sound weird? Apostrophe, apostrophe, apostrophe…share your thoughts in the comments.

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How Important Is Grammar?

The Elements of Style by Strunk and White is an excellent guide to grammar.

If you’ve ever shared your work with other people, you’ve probably had at least one person make a comment about grammar.  I could hardly show anything to my parents without them pointing out a grammatical error. It drove me nuts. All I wanted was for them to look at what I wrote, not tear it apart.  Why did they have to point out the grammar junk? I knew that that grammar mattered, but what did it have to do with what I wanted from them at the time?  I frequently wondered, just how important is grammar, anyway? 

I have learned that the answer to the question is just one word: Crucial. 

When it comes to writing, imagine that you are building a house.  You’re going to need boards and nails to do that.  Now, the boards are the words. The words themselves are the most important part.  The nails represent grammar.  If the boards are going to make a house, they need to be held together in a meaningful way. So, the answer to the question of grammar’s importance is the same answer to this question: How important are nails when building a house? 

Crucial.  Grammar is absolutely crucial. That’s the answer, plain and simple, but it doesn’t help you one bit if you don’t understand why.

After all when people dont use good grammar you can still get the point right. so whats the big deal anyway. 

While it is true that you can read the two preceding sentences and still get the point of what I’m trying to say, there are some things that are vague.  Is it a statement, or a question? Am I saying that you can make the point of the sentence be correct, or am I asking if you can still understand the sentence’s basic message? 

So, while people can still read and comprehend grammatically poor writing, every time you don’t use proper grammar, you run the risk of being misunderstood. 

Imagine it like these four drawings.

Yes, I drew these myself. You didn't know I was so artistic, did you?

The first drawing represents a sentence with proper grammar.  You can immediately tell that it is a drawing of a house.  The lines are clean, and anyone can easily figure out what it is supposed to be. The second drawing represents a sentence with one or two grammatical errors. You can still tell that it is a house, but it’s a little shaky.  It sort of looks like a mushroom house, maybe where fairies would live or something.  It is not as unquestionable as the first drawing.  Furthermore, it doesn’t look professional. The third drawing represents a sentence with many grammatical errors.  Looking at it in the context of the other images, you can still probably see the house, but if you didn’t have that reference, would you still be able to tell?  It looks like a child’s doodling, just barely recognizable.  The fourth drawing, well, that represents a sentence with a lot of grammatical errors and spelling errors and such.  If you saw that by itself, you probably could not figure out that it’s a house.  You would look at it, think, “Hey, look at those childish scribbles,” and move on. 

As grammar worsens, understandability lessens.  It gets even worse when you misspell or use the wrong word. So believe me—it stings when you have people tell you that your grammar is bad.  But you have to understand that poor grammar does to writing what bad drawing did to the house picture.  If you want your writing to be respected, you’ve got to work on your grammar skills. 

Maybe grammar doesn’t come easily to you.  Maybe you just want to write your ideas without worrying about all the “nitpicky” stuff like grammar.   All right, but would you try to build a house without nails? Of course not!  There is, unfortunately, no way around it. If grammar is hard for you, that’s okay.  It’s a learning curve.  I won’t tell you that grammar is easy, because it isn’t always. 

What I will do, however, is feature a post every Wednesday to help you master grammar and writing: Word-Craft Wednesdays!  We’ll explore grammar, usage, writing styles, and more. 

I’ll offer encouragement along the way, as well as toss in a few personal stories.  If you love writing but struggle with learning grammar, you are definitely not the only one. On the other hand, if you love grammar and are awesome at it, you might enjoy the refreshers!  You can also be my grammar police, because hey, nobody’s perfect.  And I really have a tendency to start sentences with conjunctions. 

Is grammar easy or difficult for you?  What sort of things really trip you up? 

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