Sharing your writing is a lot like wearing a bikini.
You’re exposing parts of yourself you normally keep covered, parts you might be
worried people will judge you negatively for.
Now, to fully set the stage for today’s post, I need to
give you a little background about myself. Ever since I can remember, I’ve
hated my body. I’ve gone through extreme diets and less extreme diets,
unhealthy amounts of exercise and an eating disorder. In other words, I have a
lot of baggage as pertains to my body image. I have since recovered from eating
disorders and uncontrolled yo-yo dieting, but the fact remains that my body is
outside the societal norm for what people consider an “appropriate” weight. By
a significant amount. Dare I say it…yeah, I’ll come out and say it. I’m fat, by
any measure of the word. (And fat is
just an adjective, like blonde or brunette. I don’t say it with any derogatory
meaning.)
Surprisingly, though, through lots of counseling and
prayer, I’ve made peace with my body. I
make sure to eat lots of vegetables and try to make sure that I get exercise.
Thing is, I haven’t lost weight because of it. Now, the old me would find this
terribly disappointing and would probably start engaging in dangerous, extreme
behaviors. But the new me? I just accept my body as it is, and do my best to
treat it well.
One of my favorite forms of exercise is swimming. And I
mean, I love swimming. A half hour of any other exercise, even walking, is a
huge drag for me. But put me in the pool, and I’ll stay in there until I’m
wrinkly, swimming laps and having an awesome time. I love listening to my heart
pound, and I feel strong and capable and graceful. Like, an hour of swimming is
nothing. I love it that much.
This is where I confess that I’ve always wanted to wear a
bikini. But I’ve denied myself that privilege my whole life, telling myself
that I could only do it if I was a certain size, and that I would offend people
with my horribly disgusting body if I did wear a bikini unless I was a size 0.
Then, just recently, I came across this phenomenon called #curvesinbikinis, all
about plus-sized women unapologetically wearing bikinis.
So, I bought a bikini. I’m still working up the nerve to
wear it to the pool, because I’m really truly afraid of what other people will
say about my body. Which is weird, because it’s exactly the same body I have
when I wear a one-piece. But there’s a lot of stigma against people of larger
size, so it makes me nervous. It took a lot of nerve just to buy the thing, but
I did it.
Thing is, I think I could wear it in front of strangers,
but the idea of people I actually know seeing me in it terrifies me. What if they all tell me to start exercising
and eat a salad (even though I do both of these things regularly), or say
negative things to me?
That was when I realized that wearing a bikini is a lot
like presenting your writing to the general public, then letting your friends
and family see it. Writing offers a lot of insight to an author’s private
thoughts, aspirations, and firmly held beliefs. It can be scary to imagine
people seeing that side of you that most people would rather you keep covered
up.
What if people say negative things to you about your
writing? What if you get nasty reviews on WattPad or FictionPress or
FanFiction.net? What if people leave you horrible statements and one-star
reviews on Amazon? What if your friends and family look askance at you and ask
you, “What is wrong with you?”
That’s a really scary thought, and it may make you want
to hide your writing in a locked box in between the cushions of a bed in a
secure facility, preferably one guarded by scary dogs, such as ill-trained
Rottweilers. (Or even worse, angry Chihuahuas.)
The secret to sharing your writing with the world is the
same secret to wearing a bikini. You have to be confident and brave to do it,
but the most important thing is to be satisfied with it yourself. If you love
and believe in your writing, it won’t matter what the haters say. If you love
and accept your own body, it won’t matter what the haters say about your
awesome new fatkini.
Confidence. That’s all it takes.
Does that confidence spring up overnight? No. Heck no. In
fact, it might be easier to share your writing with the public than it is to
work up the nerve to wear swimwear at the public small-town swimming pool. At least with writing, you can use a
pseudonym (pen name) to keep your true identity a secret. But even if you do
that, be confident in your work.
If people see that you are confident, they’ll respect you
because of it.
If you’re a writer terrified of sharing your work, take
courage. I never thought the day would come where I would even own a bikini, let alone seriously
consider wearing it.
So how do you build up confidence for sharing your writing?
Work with other writers – it can even be anonymously, such as through
Scribophile or similar websites. Sometimes it’s easier to interact with
faceless strangers than it is with your friends or family. Once you’ve gotten
comfortable with that, move on toward IRL writers’ groups. You might be
surprised to find that one is in your area.
There’s no need to have your work guarded by Rottweilers
or angry Chihuahuas. Don’t hide yourself from the world.
Share any thoughts in the comments.
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